This would qualify as one of Eagles Eye's "whimsical" blurrgs... if only it weren't so true...
Cleveland Browns fans are drooling over our soon-to-be leftovers at LB....
You know the Cleveland Browns, right? They are now being called the "Eagles Midwest Version" in the AFC...or perhaps more tellingly, the Cleveland "Breagles"...
This is largely because Browns' ownership and management have decided they want to go the Eagles' "Gold Standard" route of running a successful franchise...
Thus the Browns have invested big-time in former Eagles management personnel...
Tom Heckert tops the bill of former Eagles management personnel who have gone to Cleveland to try to recreate the Gold Standard of Eagles football...
It all started snowballing when the Browns under team president Mike Holmgren hired Eagles' former V.P. of Player personnel Tom Heckert to assume General Manager duties....
Heckert then hired Brad Childress to be their new offensive coordinator. It was to be an Eagles reunion of sorts in Cleveland as Childress, the Eagles' former offensive coordinator, would work under head coach Pat Shurmur, who was a tight ends, then quarterbacks coach, for the Birds.
The two had worked together for seven years on Andy Reid's staff with the Eagles.
Heckert, the Browns' general manager, worked with both Shurmur and Childress as the Eagles Director of Player Personnel and Vice President of Player Personnel.
The Reid Tree is growing, just mostly in Cleveland...
Childress was fired as the Vikings' head coach after 10 games in 2010. He went 39-35 with the Vikings in his tenure.
Shurmur was head coach and offensive coordinator in his first season as the Browns' coach last year. The Browns finished 4-12 and scored 13.6 points per game.
The Browns also have several former Eagles on their roster, including Sheldon Brown, Chris Gocong, Dimitri Patterson, Alex Smith, Jordan Norwood and Artis Hicks. Brodrick Bunkley was an ex-Eagles Browns for a while last season before being sent to Denver... Juqua Parker (former eagles DE) was recently signed by the Browns...
Former Eagles head coach Ray Rhodes is a senior defensive assistant.
The Browns have quickly become the "Island of Misfit Eagles". No word if Donovan McNabb is on his way to Cleveland. Then again, would anyone be surprised?
So no surprise that there is a Cleveland Browns fansite that wants to be us...
It is called Orange and Brown Report... and it's more akin to a message board than our humble forum of blurbicus and discussion here... but it's obvious that the Orange and Brown guys have been studying not only our Eagles players but the star commenters who frequent these pages of Eagles-oriented talk...
First of all, they have a Brizer wanna-be... a so-called gate-keeping leader named "Bo Davis", aka "The Menacing Mongrel".... Okay, I get the implied compliment to our own GK...
But this Cleveland version of Bri is more like a vulture than the clever Renaissance man we know Brizer to be... Bo Davis does not subscribe to the GK's charter of "education and entertainment"... he is more like a raptor intent upon eyeballing the scraps of the Eagles' impending roster cuts for the purpose of feeding the Cleveland Browns machine... That's basically all he does.
Here's a recent take from Bo Davis to support my allegations:
"Keep an eye on Eagles LB's Keenan Clayton, Akeem Jordan, Fokou..."
"Linebacker: Another summer, another new spin on the position that the Eagles can never quite seem to settle. Only this time, you have to feel better about the options. Barring some offseason nightmare, DeMeco Ryans will be the starter at middle linebacker. We still need to see how close he is to the Pro Bowl form he displayed before his 2010 Achilles tear, but if he’s even near that level he’ll be an upgrade."
"The battles, then, will be at outside linebacker. Second round pick Mychal Kendricks and Jamar Chaney will start off on the strong side, but Kendricks already seems to have the inside track. The Eagles love his ability to rush the passer, which would give the team another look that quarterbacks would have to prepare for."
"If Chaney is pushed aside, though, he would probably get a shot on the weak side, along with Brian Rolle and Casey Matthews. Rolle had some solid moments last year, but with his height you don’t know if he’ll be a long-term answer. The Eagles invested a fourth round pick in Matthews and will also give him a shot. He was one of the players Roseman raved about Monday for his offseason work. (I can hear some of you groaning, but let’s allow that Matthews (A)was put in a very difficult position at the start of last season and (B)showed some positive signs when given a second chance).
"Keenan Clayton has intriguing speed but has never been able to carve out a niche for himself. He’d seem to make a nice nickel linebacker, but the Eagles would prefer to find a set of guys who can stay on the field for three downs. Clayton may have one last summer to make a positive impression (Another running criticism: that he shows up much more in games than in practices; that’ll have to change)."
"Akeem Jordan and Moise Fokou have had chances to take control of starting jobs, but neither has made a huge impact the past two years. They may face an uphill battle for roster spots. Same with Greg Lloyd and Monte Simmons.""I can't wait to see which of these guys get cut by the Eagles... whoever they are will fit fine into the Cleveland Browns system... and we sure need another quality linebacker for sheer depth purposes..."
Yikes. Bo Davis sees dead people---he wants our zombies...
And he gets fan mail like this:
"Your attention to the Eagles is well timed, I was thinking the Browns may be thinking about getting one of the Eagles' DE's since Heckert ignored the chances to draft Upshaw or Curry. The Eagles grabbed Caurry and now have a nice surplus that maybe one of which will be available via trade. I would hope the Browns are smart enough to check in with the Eagles regarding Brandon Graham who may be bumped by Curry or Upshaw this summer. The Browns are going to have plenty of back ups to fill the RDE spot, but they have no legit starter for this position at this time, and if they don't address this before the season begins, it will be another long season with Sheard being double-teamed and Big Ben and Flacco just rolling out to the right side to avoid our only capable DE." ----browns-town.com
"Clayton was drafted after Heckert left so I doubt Heckert would really be that interested in him. Fokou and Jordan would be possibilities. As far as DEs goes, just wait for Daryll Tapp to be cut. He is scheduled to make $2.575M this year. Absent someone else getting hurt, he's not going to stick with the Eagles at that cap number and no one is trading for him." --- Fluffy Puppy
"If you can't make the Eagles LB corps, I'm not interested...
Now Graham on the other hand..." --- Junkyard Terror
There are many more examples of the incredible first-cousin bond we now seem to share with the fans of the Cleveland Browns. I'm not sure I'm completely comfortable with this shared bond at the moment... But it is flattering at some level that they covet our leftovers.
Perhaps the telling symbol in this mad double-life we seem to be leading with Cleveland right now is Bo Davis' own personal avatar:
Yeah, that's Bo Davis the Menacing Mongrel's avatar... the GK-wannabe of Cleveland.... pales in comparison to our own GK's evolving series of images of personal power and influence, doesn't it? Well, with the possible exception of the brief run of the "Lawn Jockey" avatar... although I found that avatar in good taste and appropriate to the spirit of self-deprecative humor we enjoy here...as well as relevant to the thoroughbred championship horse-racing season upon us now again...
Contract talks never end. Maclin is up next....., and if he has a good year as expected, DRC will need to get done. Remember this is the last year of his rookie deal
So they finally got Shady all locked up? Good........... maybe we can go into a year for once with no lingering disgruntled players who think they are outplaying their salaries and are holding back waiting for the big payday. And for that reason...........we don't need that guy everyone wants in Jersey #92.
Lmao...nice little article here. It seems the Browns and Nationals are where Philadelphia athletes go to die.
@dutchrubb No, gum sucks. It pulls out all 18 of my bridges.
@TheGreatJB99 Welp, bet if the chick in my avi would ask you, you would consent. You could just gum her to death then.
Ha Ha!!!! You peeps first starting to figure out what is in jello...............and you guys make fun of me for my scrapple. Guess Bill Cosby was not that nice a guy after all.........he made you all like it!!!!!
@dutchrubb Hey Dutch how you doin? After our conversation about Carroll Shelby and Smokey Yunick the other day, I had to bust out my VHS copy of "Two Lane Blacktop". Such a cool car flick. Surely you have this in your collection?
@dutchrubb I've seen em but never messed with one. Cool lookin though. I LOVE 327's. I have a '67 Nova that is begging to be a 327 4-spd car. I can't bring myself to do it though. But there's something about a 327 wide open that turns me on. No other small block sounds like that!
@dutchrubb I work with a guy that's doing a replica of the '55. Steel tilt nose, straight axle, radiused wheel wells, sliding plexi windows. Only difference is it has a 427. But it's dual quad tunnel ram still. Totally bitching ride! He's still got a lot of work but it's damn cool. I dig straight axle front ends.
@PPW Friend of mine has a 70 GTO Judge in Orbit Orange just like the one in the movie. Awesome car!!!!!
da Freak will have to kilt about 5 people b4 he's eligible to win da BIGO 5 contest!...you can't make that up......youse peeps are hilarious ,.......and stoopid!..nice.
My plans changed in a hurry, haha. My chick got off work and wants to go out to seafood tonight, told me she's paying, pimp!... Good thing mushies don't go bad.
@Jerky They do go bad... but it takes 8 months or so. Make sure you keep them airtight. In a bad... or tupperware.
@TheGreatJB99 I wish I had a big ole fat cubensis to munch on. Some boomers baby! Much cleaner trip imo.
@Jerky I can teach you to grow cubensis. Its easy... until you grow enough to make money from it. But if you just want some to munch on... I can show you how to grow them.
@TheGreatJB99 Thanks 4 da tip. I'm sure I'll have em ate up within the next 2 days. :-)