| 17 January 2012
It's a volatile year for NFL head coaches and assistants... Here's the latest scorecard:
KANSAS CITY — Todd Haley, fired, Dec. 12; Romeo Crennel (interim); Crennel named coach Jan. 9.
INDIANAPOLIS — Jim Caldwell, fired, Jan. 17.
JACKSONVILLE — Jack Del Rio, fired, Nov. 29; Mel Tucker (interim); Mike Mularkey named coach, Jan. 10.
MIAMI — Tony Sparano, fired, Dec. 12; Todd Bowles (interim).
OAKLAND — Hue Jackson, fired, Jan. 10.
ST. LOUIS — Steve Spagnuolo, fired, Jan. 2; Jeff Fisher named coach, Jan. 17.
TAMPA BAY — Raheem Morris, fired, Jan. 2.
A closer look at the Oakland situation now reveals: The Oakland Raiders have been given permission to interview Philadelphia Eagles offensive coordinator Marty Mornhinweg for their vacant coaching job. Mornhinweg has spent the past nine seasons as an offensive assistant with the Eagles. He previously went 5-27 in two seasons as Detroit's head coach in 2001-02.
New Oakland general manager Reggie McKenzie has already been granted permission to interview Denver coordinators Mike McCoy and Dennis Allen, and New Orleans offensive coordinator Pete Carmichael Jr. He is also believed to be interested in talking to a number of assistants with Green Bay, where McKenzie previously worked.
I can already hear the "Hmmmmmmmm's" coming out of Sonny Moonbeam's pie-hole... He was never a big Marty fan...but if Marty gets turned down for the head job in Oakland, and then stays on as OC with Philly, there will be hell to pay on this site for the "I told you so's" the first time in 2012 the Eagles go three-and-out on an offensive series.
Meanwhile...
Our good friend Jimmy Fallon (of NBC fame and my former college roommate's buddy) was recruited to help salute one of the most prolific Eagles fan posters in the combined histories of PE.com and EEB.com... We're talking about the praise of career achievement for the brilliant BROZER 8 (aka Hamhox, Snorpus Blart and possibly Shackleford) that is long overdue...
[Cue maudlin piano musical accompaniment:]
"Thank you, Brozer 8, for all the fun and parody and also the serious NFL commentary you have brought to Eagles fans over the past five years..."
"You started out as an impressionist at PE.com... the first to mimic the Prince of Perk's precious mannerisms... but you grew from there..."
"You're only 40 years old now, but the joy you've brought to your collective audience at PE.com and EEB.com over the years makes you a living legend..."
"Broz, you are welcome to join me anytime at the NBC Commissary in New York's Rockefeller Center for a celebratory lunch... just call first...as you know, I'm busy...kinda busy..."
Fantastic honor for a great poster!
Quickly looking at Brozer's early days (his "Greatest Hits" period, Volume 1), there are these snippets to share from his PE.com appearances:
Brozer8:
" Dat shartrhymer, Great Fat JB99, sounds a little, different, or sumptin', to ole Broz,...iz dat really youz senetah' ? What's urz favorite type of addictive donut,...? To be sure, Broz is da paranoid type,...(flies everywhere), and he's been known to hold a 20 bill up to da light, to check for authenticity,..."
Brozer8:
"LB nonsense: dere's been much talk lately, dat the Eagles don't value LB's...and da example these misguided posters use is da Steelers, Packers, ravens etc. But dat's not really fair, and it's comparing apples to grapefruits,...because da playmakin' LB's on those teams are outside LB's in a 3-4 scheme,...which are closer in job description to our defensive ends...which we invest heavily in (wiff mixed success),...and besides, how can anyone complain about our LB drafting strategy, when we've netted blue chippers like Quinten Caver and Barry Gardner, and da underratted Matt McCoy? Carry buns,..."
Brozer8:
"BC,...Broz is veryyyy suspicious,...of everyone,....everyone seems,..funny, not haha funny,....what kind of person,...would use da opportunity of da recent disaster, to steal another member's identity,...women and children would,...but not men ! DangBro"
"Pork chop, my little chick-a-dees ! B-9,...I reject blubber in stew, senatah' ! Youz don't know whoz youz prefer,
"I just saw, some fool, jump from a helium baloon, dat was 107,000 feet into da outer atmoshpere, on da border or space ! What a FREAK ! But it woulda been cooler if he had had a 106,999 foot bungee cord attached to him instead of a wimpy parachute,...what a poosey,...hooz wiff me !"
Okay, maybe not the
best
examples...
But look at what Brozer has done lately... he's actually taken on serious NFL commentary roles...
"I'm not sure why Spags WOULDN'T want to come here (assuming he isn't forced to run any d-line scheme he doesn't want to, and has total control over the D)."
"Think about it: With a reasonable veteran or two at LB and maybe safety, you have all the talent in the world on defense. PLUS, the public perception is that this defense played HORRIBLY last year."
"So even if Spags just turned it into a good defense,...not great,..just good, the perception is gonna be that HE turned this crap defense into a good defense in one year ! And considering the talent, there's no reason why he wouldn't be able to do that."
"Couple that wiff the fax, that you're working under a head coach that surely won't be here in 2 years regardless of how well we do, and he'll be the successful coordinator that turned a defense around, sitting there with a head coaching vacancy. It's a perfect sitch for him,...if you axt me."
And this:
"I don't worry about ProBowl honors for LB's,....92% of the time, they base it on who has the most sacks,....which skews it towards 3-4 OLB's, that are more like Def Ends in our system. Not many 4-3 backers make it to the probowl these days,....wiff exception to a few Mikes."
And this:
"I only have one 'Trade Up Boy'.
"Mine and GreatFat's boy Mikey Brockers. He's got the versatitties to play anywhere on the line."
"And me tinks that DE, might be a higher draff priority than LB in the FO's book (might be in mine too,...pies)"
"Cuz troof be told, if you try, we can get a good vet to plug in right away at LB in FA, cuz we don't need world-class affletes at LB in our system, just guys that can stay in their gaps and tackle like an NFL player. Those guys can be gotten ! That way, it buys you time to let the guys you already got develop. (but we still need to draft 1 in the 2nd or 3rd)."
We could go on all night with more great cuts from the Brozer Anthology. But for the sake of time and space, we'll leave it here... Suffice it to say, Brozer is a keepsake treasure for all Eagles fans who appreciate the Truth spiced with some pretty sophisticated humor. The Best of Brozer Volume II will be a future blurb, I can assure you.
And for those of you who may wonder what the real Brozer looks like, here is the best available photo of him taken in his Virginia hometown during his semi-pro playing career:
At age 40, Brozer may be over the hill in terms of playing career... but as an analyst and commentator, he's only just begun.
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