ATV, Beano, Spiffo, and Don Pardo answer the call to arms for Eagles content...

My thanks to the daily fan warriors on this site who responded to my plea for new ideas here in the deadest part of the NFL season. Your outpouring was inspirational---and humbling.

Now we can have "Guest Writers" for the rest of this week... To be fair we'll do it alphabetically---today is "ATV"... then "B" for Beano, "P" for Pardo, and "S" for Spiffo... We're set now!

First up is ATV, aka Chris Ruggiero from Las Vegas, Nevada...


This is how I imagine ATV to look in my movie... He's got the Pacino thing workin' for him...passionate about his life and his family and his sports, he'll always let you know where he stands on any subject. "Backing down" is not in his lexicon... 

What kind of Iggle Fan Are You?

By ATV (Chris Ruggiero)---Our good friend and creator of this beloved script joint has reached out to the members of the bored for a helping hand in these dogs days of summer where NFL news is pretty scarce.

Being the helpful chap that I am, I thought.. “why not”? Certainly, I can throw together 750 words of gold without breaking a sweat right? Ummmm, how many is this so far… 1, 2, 3…

Turns out, I needed a few more words to reach the goal. So here goes…

In my days growing up in South Philly, and in my 4 years or so of visiting this place, and OTI back in the day before the explosion, I’ve had the pleasure (ahem) of getting to know quite a few iggles fans personalities. And I thought it would be fun to discuss the few “types” of iggles fans that I have come across in that time. So, while there isn’t much to discuss about the team… I thought a few words to describe the fans seemed a decent topic.

So, which category describes you best?

Homer Fan- Here we have a fan who wears their Kelly Green sunglasses day or night, rain or shine. When the topic of Super Bowl victories is discussed, these fans are the ones who will point out that the iggles have won NFL championships, but just not Super Bowl… yet! They are first in line to drink the Kool-Aid that is being dispensed from the folks who brought us “the shark in the water” Ernie Sims. Even though an Eagles Super Bowl victory is their ultimate desire, they still see regular season victory totals, and playoff appearances as a better indicator of success then winning one Super Bowl surrounded by losing seasons. They buy the “Gold Standard” bit hook, line, and sinker. That there is no better roster in the NFL than the current Eagles roster, and every player is worthy of accolades galore and a Pro Bowl berth. And no matter the circumstances, they truly and earnestly believe that THIS is the year the Eagles will win the Super Bowl. God Bless EVERY single one of these fans

Realistic Fan- This iggle fan has learned the lesson “fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me” the hard way. While they will acknowledge the NFL Championships, they don’t value them very highly, and would not actually use them in any argument in defense of their beloved iggles. All information from Evergreen is taken with a grain of salt, and they need to “see it” to believe it. While desiring a Super Bowl no less than any other type of fan, they also realize it’s a pretty hard thing to accomplish, and a little luck will be needed. The roster is what it is for these fans, and players must pass their own personal eye test before buying any hype, basing their opinions on past accomplishments, or bending to the mobs mentality. To them, a spade is a spade and have no qualms about announcing it loudly… if a player is worthy they will say it, if a player stinks up the joint they will unapologetically state it as such. This fan pulls no punches and no one is deemed “off limits” to their scrutiny. Without these fans to keep the Homers in check, the Kool-Aid would flow like Niagra Falls… slowly I turn.

Pessimistic Fan- This is probably the most prevalent iggles fan around today, just listen to WIP or read the comments in any story in Philly.com.  Quick to point out that every team in the NFC East has multiple Super Bowl trophies to the iggles big fat goose egg. Past NFL Championships are no more than a lame response to the most important question. Have the iggles won a Super Bowl? They have zero faith in Evergreen and will continue to do so until the iggles win a Super Bowl. To be fair, it’s not as if they do not have some reasons to feel this way.  And no matter the circumstances, they truly and earnestly believe that this is NOT the year the Eagles will win the Super Bowl.

Moonbeam Fan- A combination of some of the realistic fan’s traits, blended with a lot of the pessimistic fan’s traits, and the polar opposite to a Homer Fan. Barely ever a kind word for any player or staff member, and only willing to begrudgingly concede back-handed compliments. This fan is harsh and even downright nasty at times. Now some will argue that this fan is not truly a fan at all. I disagree. While very unpleasant and not surprisingly unpopular, in my humble opinion, this is still an iggles fan none the less. I think everyone here, including me, would agree that at times that I can be annoying, antagonistic, and a first class UAAA. That said, even I could not sustain going into another teams fan chat room day after day, year after year , for the sole purpose to antagonize and annoy. We tried it the other night, and the cache wore off in about 10 minutes time.

Let’s face it, picking on any iggles fans is the equivalent to picking low hanging fruit. It’s too easy. Booing (a substitute) Santa Clause, throwing batteries at the Easter Bunny, cheering Michael Irvin being carted of the turf at the Vet (wait, was that wrong? Oops!), no Super Bowl victories, and countless other easy targets. It would get boring day after day… UNLESS you had vested interest in the team's outcome.  Some of you will of course disagree, and I can certainly understand the genesis behind, and respect those opinions.

So, which fan are you? While I’m certain some here will try answer for you… only you can truly know the answer. However, no matter which category you fall into, try and remember we are all in this together…. ummmmm maybe?

Welp, there you have it… and I’d appreciate it if you’d not kilt this messenger too badly.

[THANK YOU, ATV, our Guest Feature writer live from Las Vegas! --- Tune in to the EYE all this weekend for more guest features from BEANSTALK, DON PARDO, and SPIFFO!]