To really "get" Eagles football, you've got to surrender to The Sage...
Look, you can get your Eagles football analysis from the C3PO's over at Philly.com... or you can get the heart and the guts of the sport from JB...
First thing, you must divorce your mind from the notion that you know anything about the sport of NFL Football at all... cleanse your spirit of all pre-assumptions... then prepare to absorb.
Then, and only then, are you ready to sit at the feet of the great JB--- short for JeromeBrown99--- possibly the sharpest Eagles football poster and pundit currently on the planet of Earf.
Oh sure, Bri (GK Brizer) and legendary poster Leo Pizzini, both of PE.com's "On The Inside" archives, definitely give The Sage a run for the money. As a trio, they formed a Trinity of football wisdom at Spadaro's "On The Inside" gallery for many an enlightening year...And it is my hope Spuds will give them all a warm homecoming invitation once he restores his site to the classic format we all loved.
Until that happens, we can only retell the Gospel of their works here...and memorialize it for future generations of Bird-brains...
JB has had an interesting physical metamorphosis over the years... his appearance has changed many times since his playing days at Nebraska...oh, did I mention he has a Nebraska football pedigree as an NCAA fullback with two national championship rings to his credit? Well, there you have it...
Modesty prevents JB from revealing his true identity... but I have it on some authority he was a member of the 1994-1995 NCAA championship Huskers' roster...
Quite a journey of collegiate football adventure it was for JB and the Huskers program, interrupted only by his love for family, who needed him to transfer to a college near Austin, Texas, so he could oversee the clan's newfound fortune in oil and gas royalty properties...
A successful earthworm farm venture soon followed.
Tragically, JB's boyhood love for the Philadelphia Eagles was interrupted by a series of genetic and environmental transformational changes.
As a young high school student-athlete, JB dreamed of sharing a locker room with his Eagles hero, the since-departed Jerome Brown:
Reconciling himself to the reality of his post-collegiate responsibilities to his family estate, JB settled down into a semi-retired existence with regards to football, although he was often sought out by NFL Draft columnists for his scouting insights...
But horribly, a tragic accident on a visit to the Netherlands to tape a Dr. Pepper commercial resulted in a film studio accident, in which JB injured his back and caught himself afire in a klieg light, causing a sudden change in his post-op appearance... and current rumors circulating of skin-bleaching and hyperbaric chamber usage...
Thus we have today the enigma of JB99...who despite his triumphs and travails in the real world, still challenges all Eagles fans to embrace the concept of Team Improvement.... and self-improvement when it comes to qualifying as a knowledgeable fan of the sport.
Here are some examples of how JB shakes down the average "Philly.com" Eagles fan reality..his observations after Game 1 in 2010 against the Green Bay Packers:
"...all those media lemmings cuss and b17ch right after the game. So I would now like to take the time to tell those that don't know... YOU CAN'T TELL SH** WATCHING A GAME
"So... you guys are complaining because we didn't run it enough... even though we had their D gassed and got 279 2nd half yards? Welp... all I can say is... keep wishing. === But for cripes sake... don't try to turn us into the Jets. Their O scheme is horrible... Very embarrassing to watch..."
"Anyone questioning Reid's timeouts are effin stupid. No other way to put it. All the people that know football were sending me messages after the game giving Reid props. Listen... Reid, by taking the TO's with's 5 mintues, was giving the D more chances for a stop, and a possible GB turnover... Had they gotten another 1st down... we still would have had 1 TO and the two-minute warning... meaning that ultimately... if things went as planned..."
"The 4th down call was there. I don't care what anyone says. They had 6 on the LOS... we had 6 blockers with Vick as the carrier. There's no doubt it was a check play. If we had them outnumbered.... it was the QB blast we saw. But had they outnumbered us... Vick would have thrown towards whomever Sam Shields had. Probably Avant. And if they stacked it up inside... we would have swept it. === Really funny to see people say... 'that was a horrible call!'... like it was 100% QB blast no matter what. They're all media lemmings. They act like we didn't have options to check to."
"Vick is a weird deal. Totally unconventional. He's pretty inaccurate. If you hated #5 not hitting guys in stride... you'll hate Vick. But he can make all the throws and is a quick decision-maker. But the big thing is... Vick makes the defensive pressure a plus for us... not them. Like that DT of theirs' said after the game... paraphrasing here... but he said... that Vick is a nightmare for defenses... no duh there... but then he said that it's actually better to keep your rush lanes than make a quick move to beat your guy up front... simply 'cause Vick will kill you if he has a lane. And when you think about it... lots of our big plays came after big pressure from GB. Vick also made all those big bad LB's GB has look like they were standing still. But by far the best plays Vick made were the 3 or 4 plays where he stood in there whilst about to get crushed and delivered big time throws. Those are the plays you need to win in the NFL..."
"A few more observations for the peasants. === (1) Nate Allen played a solid game... especially for a rookie's 1st game. But that long TD he gave up to
"... my advice would be to try and enjoy life... use that noggin a little and realize that Reid's O has beaten some of the best D's around. Try and watch a football game without hate. Be proud of the Eagles... for they give it their all for you every year. Don't want to win to the point where things aren't fun. Relax. Let the Eagle players and coaches do their job and enjoy the ride...
....And now what you have all been waiting for! JB99's Official 2011 Mock Draft! === 1st round) Prince Amukamara CB, Nebraska (2) Roy Helu RB, Nebraska (3) Dejon Gomes CB, Nebraska (4) Alex Henerey K, Nebraska === That's as far as I have gotten to this point. Youse like?
I've been saying this is a two year fix it from the beginning. But so far... I like what I see. Add 2 more CB's... get a good solid DT... a big time RG... and another LB... and we are looking good! Can't wait till next FA period! E-A-G-L-E-S EAGLES! "
If I remember nothing else from JB's sage commentary in 2010, it will be that post-game review of the opener against the Packers...and how dramatically it played into what's happening right now...the MACH 10 challenge and the NFL Draft of 2011. Talk about connected to the reality of the game....JB is way ahead of all of us. And I will forever remember his favorite words of fan advice---"Don't Be A Slave To The Media!".... maybe that should be on a T-shirt somewhere. I would buy it...and wear it.
I had to "report abuse" on BellView...because he said that he only goes to sleep after "big hands are on his kock".....
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I goes to sleep when the hands on my clock show the biggie on the 1 and the littl' fellar onda 12,.....top that youse mollified mules.
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Rose was a hot bitch....in her time (50 years ago)...kinda a Carol Brady type. However, iffens youze was to try to "doink Bea Arthur", you might have to move aside her cock-n-balls to do so.
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Lupes, usually slips some no-Doze, into BellViews camamile tea at night to keep him somewhat coherent....but since Loopes is under constant pressure deese days, to keep pushin out articles, he forgot, and hence Bellview went to tend to his wrench (aka lapsed into a drooling stooper in his lazy-boy chair watching Golden Girls)
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I was just kidding about Lattimore vs Burkhead. Burkhead is a good solid player that can do it all and is a coaches dream. But Lattimore has top 5 NFL draft ability.
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Hopefully... Bri will die. And after he dies... he will hopefully get reincarnated as someone who can stay awake past 10:30.
My boy... Connor Shaw... may take the start and never look back! At least this time he won't look back.
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JerkedTapeWorm,...I just read ur profile,...and it sounds just like me, Senetah' !...my first Eagles memory was da Oakland-Philly Superbowl, and my Pops suggested I pick a side,...and I too was drawn toward da green-n-silver. I remember seeing Plunket, and thinking he looked like one of the cavemen from da cartoons I was into at da time...and Jaworski looked like da Good Guy. I was a few years older at da time dan you, but only a few...and then when I first saw Randal play, I was hooked, cuz none of da stiff-cheeked crackers dat I ever saw playing QB, played like dat !
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Killa had brain damage,.....broz has brain infarction...is there a difference?,...philsuk!,.........i'm gonna rest my head on a saffron pillow and my loins on rose petals,...it suits da king,........nite ladies,.....wench,..remove your robe!
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A'ight....I just liked EVERY post on this mofo, even the sucky ones, and it didn't raise MY point total at ALL ! DAMNIT ! Youzes people owe me BIG time. You're welcome. But, when I think about it in retrosex, I really feel like even a better person than before,....after helping all you (ingrateful rat-bastards),.. And that's really what giving is all about ! *smiley face* *winky face*
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#1 the Vandaleers fall to the #3 Mad Chickens...yea baby...knocked off another numero uno...GO COCKS
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JB..I react slowly.....Lattimore by a half step..iffin he can stay friggin healthy...Clowney is the real deal..met him at my place of sweating..real polite kid..and a beast physically...Ol Ball Coach is pissed...Freddy Garcia has thrown a change up at his plans for this season...dat kid needs a real long visit at the woodshed....
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yeah, think last season KILLAEAGLE was off the deep end also with no good reason. Maybe a broken keyboard.
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HUD,...yes,..but there were others who posted similarly..with caps,.but Zoomer had cause,.....he had but one eye,..and that one wasn't anything to rite home about.
Just don't expect to get liked back....cuz Im on my phone....and also because I gain no points by liking others....but mostly the phone thing
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Zoomer used to call me brizwax,......which is still unexplicable.,...Hud,..you go way back!
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hud hock,..usuk!!,..but everybody's special,..matters not if yur an a-hole or scholar...if yura knucklehead,.yur in,..guvna'!
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Hud.....if ur buttox,....I'll have ur head on a pike !....unless u get me to 70 points, that is,...then I'll buy a "I heart Buttox" tshirt....and make you my fiftysevenff best friend.
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I'm just teasin. I had the same handle at PE. jhustoncc. Somebody but nobody special. Cept to maybe my mammy!
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All kidding aside,.....I have to admit that I'm surprised how much traffic has decreased there since the "change' at Spuds 'Inside' comments section .. It's down about 75-90%,..and all can't be attributed to movement here. That tells me sumptin' and warrants a SWOT analysis. Marketing and analytics can have a field day. I do feel however,...that we ,..as a group and product,.offer something unique,..and I applaud all participants for their contibutions,..no matter how meek,.mild,.or EARF shattering they may be. We are the World,....next stop INDY!!!!!...who's wiff me?
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Cooch said a funny last night as relayed by a phillie announcer, the announcer -I think it was Chris Wheeler asked cooch about his dinger last night. Cooch responded: "He hang em, I bang em..." - gotta love me some cooch...
